Broken

By Jaime Solis

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Do we forget what it means to have Jesus as our Lord? As our God? In those broken hearted moments we are desperate for His comfort, which His scripture promises, but do we actually sense Him far away instead?

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This scripture mentions having a contrite, or CRUSHED spirit, crushed to the point of turning into dust. Have you ever felt as crushed? Have you’ve ever been humbled so low that it’s broken your heart? Have you’ve felt in those moments that you’ve been so alone?
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I was 19 years old when my life took a drastic turn. I was doing the average things that my peers were doing at the time; I was in school, I had a job, I had a lot of good friends I hung out with, I was having the time of my life! Slowly, for reasons I couldn’t explain at the time, I started feeling unwell.
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My body started reacting scared all the time. The feeling got so bad that I was eventually stuck in my bedroom for 3 months, too afraid to leave my small space. I eventually dropped out of school, lost my job, and lost touch with my friends. I was alone and I remember wondering if this was what the rest of my life was going to be like. I was broken and crushed. My life was just starting and I felt like I lost it all.
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It was through this that my relationship with God began. I initially thought that God would want nothing to do with me, but in my brokenness He’s always been there to comfort and carry me along the way.
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I think back to these moments often and remind myself of them, because it’s then that I remember that when my heart was broken, Jesus was near. I’m reminded that what it means to have Jesus as our Lord and God is to have a Lord and God that is our friend. Jesus Himself called us His friend in John 15:15, look it up!
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I eventually came to find out that I was suffering from anxiety attacks, and the Lord has carried me through it for almost 20 years now..
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Know this, that our broken and crushed spirit does not repulse Him, rather, it keeps Him near.
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Although I do feel for you if you are experiencing brokenness right now, I also rejoice as I grieve with you, knowing that you are about to experience the nearness of God in your crushed moments.
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So, broken heart, have hope, be encouraged, and know that God is a God that is near. Know that God is a God that is your friend.