The Song Of Solomon 3.1-2

“All night long on my bed
I longed for my lover.
I longed for him but he never appeared.

“I will arise and look all around throughout the town,
and throughout the streets and squares;
I will search for my beloved.”
I searched for him but I did not find him.”

(The Song Of Solomon 3.1-2, NET)

The feelings of intimate and sexual desire felt here by the lover are not inherently shameful or sinful. Having said, multiple times, that she is deeply in love with her beloved, she also desires his presence in a physical way (on my bed, cf. Genesis 49.4, Numbers 31.7, Hebrews 13.4). It looks like she will do anything needed to satisfy the desire even if she knows there is no guarantee of finding him (v.2). 

As we have said before – and as is clear from the way the lover speaks here – there is no hint that their sexual relationship has begun before their marriage. These desires are just that at the moment: desires. In and of themselves desires ≠ sin. I read a great book on the Christian response to homosexuality a few years ago (link below) and what comes through again and again is that what we do with our desires is so important.

To feel sexually attracted to someone, to desire a physical and sexual relationship is not equal to sin. How we act on those desires, the order in which we seek to satisfy them in a relationship, however, is far more important. 

If you are at a point in life where you are seeking this kind of relationship, seek out Scriptural counsel for the prerequisite steps ¹.

If you are coming to the realisation that you have jumped a step here or there, that the way things played out in your past was not how God’s Word shows, then I would encourage you to take that to the Lord in prayer and repentance. Sexual sin is not the unforgivable sin (Mark 3.28) but refusing to repent of former transgressions brings us close to it (Matthew 12.32) ².

If you are struggling to let go of former sexual sins, take these truths into today:

“…where sin increased, grace multiplied all the more…”

(part of Romans 5.20)

“…he is able to save completely those who come to God through him…”

(part of Hebrews 7.25)

¹

Does the Bible Really Prohibit Sex Outside of Marriage?

²

https://www.gotquestions.org/unpardonable-sin.html